Are People with alot of “Friends” on Facebook Narcissists?
So yesterday was such an interesting day. It was so interesting because I was quoted in a national news story on facebook about whether people with large friends lists on facebook are narcissists.
Here is the article written by the unprofessional ABC reporter
I was contacted by the reporter on Thursday morning and practically fell out of my chair as I opened up the e-mail. She mentioned that she was doing a story on facebook, noted that I had a lot of “friends” on there, and further wanted to speak with me about my facebook activity.
Because an opportunity doesn’t come around like that everyday, I gladly replied back letting her know that I would love to help her out. She mentioned that she heard about me through someone that I went to school with.
As we began our conversation on the phone she said, “So tell me about your facebook activity?” I then went into detail about I utilized the powerful communication tool to subsequently meet 95% of the speakers I brought to speak at the Boston College Entrepreneur Society between my junior and senior year, and further communicated my appreciation for the tool to find like minded individuals to befriend all over the country. I also shared how facebook has enabled me to be one degree away from pretty much anyone I would ever want to interface with in the future.
After sharing all of these stories in her confused and squeaky voice she states, “So you use it more of like a ‘linked in’?” I made it pretty clear with her that I didn’t use it like a linked in, and further explained to her that my goal with it was to form relationships online with people who had like-interests and then bring the relationships offline which I have successfully done time and time again.
After this exchange I began to wonder why she really wanted to speak with me…so I asked her. She stated, “Now don’t balk at me now…but there was this study that stated that people with large friend lists tend to show more narcissistic tendencies.”
Immediately I kind of laughed and chuckled, and then stated…“I think that study is complete and utter Crap…and is totally Bogus.” Which mind you…she FAILED to cite in the article.
As we began to speak the gloves really came off…not only did I feel like I was “targeted” in a negative way, but further began thinking to myself “I literally can’t believe this little reporter is doing a story on this bogus study done by academics who do nothing else bit sit at desks all day thinking of meaningless things to “conclude” only to feel more important than other researchers that are doing the same thing…talk about narcississtic…so instead of hanging up on her right at that instant…I gave her the facts.
Here were my points that were horribly ignored and never once cited in the article. Not only was the article completely one-sided, but further was full of so much crap that my friends couldn’t even believe this reporter was a true journalist. The sad truth is that this reporter thought she produced something that was worth reading for people.
Here were my points to her…
*I made it pretty clear that people use facebook for different reasons, some use it to only keep up with college friends, other high-profile people in society use it as an “extension of their brand” to communicate with their fans, other people use it for their business to increase their exposure and reach, book authors launching a book leverage the platform to gain awareness about their book, and finally business people use it to connect with like minded individuals to figure out a way to form win/win partnerships in their business going forward.
*The reason there are some people with a lot of friends is because their influence in the normal world has carried onto the online world. Just because a person has a lot of influence, that has been illustrated in the friend lists of some of the big names we all know…doesn’t make these people narcissistic.
*You can’t talk about narcissism without talking about influence…meaning while there are some people with huge friend lists who are narcissistic, you can’t lump them all into one box and label them without first getting to know who they are. There are some hugely influential people with large followings on these sites who are the kindest people you would ever want to interface with.
*The term “Friends” on facebook is a loose term because a person’s definition of a friend all depends on how they use it. For me, the reason I have so many friends on facebook is because I use it differently than a normal college student that just wants to keep in touch would. I like to use it as a sorting mechanism to help me connect with the people who find an interest in what I am doing, and who further feel there is a positive way in which we can work together.
Now if you read the article, you will find that NONE of that was cited. The only thing that was cited was me stating, “I would say, personally, I use social networking sites, primarily Facebook and YouTube, to meet like-minded people that I can’t meet every day,” he said. “If you want to call that narcissism so be it, but I don’t think it is.” So much for illustrating the other side!
What pissed me off about this article is that it dragged any and all social media mavens/bloggers/hyper-connected individuals through the mudd and put a negative label on them that really doesn’t fit everyone who has a big “following” or “friends list” for that matter. Further what pisses me off more is that they had to use me as the case study to justify this activity and further draw the same conclusions of this BOGUS study without sharing any of the other side that I spoke about with the reporter. Pretty unprofessional wouldn’t you say?
If you read the comments that are left in the article on ABC’s website, some of my contacts who read it left comments stating how I have had a huge impact on their lives, and further spoke about the amount of value that I have brought into their lives because I met them on facebook. That in itself is where I look to prove my point that hyper connected individuals who have many high quality relationships are NOT narcissists.
One of my friends even made a video…
I can only imagine what ProBlogger, Yaro Starak, Guy Kawasaki, Seth Godin,Scobelizer, Dan Schawbel, Chris Borgan, Charles Heflin, Shel Israel, Brian Solis, Steve Rubel, or Jack Humphrey would think if they read this article…as they all have huge followings and do so much good for everyone they interface with…and also have those huge friends lists through their facebook profiles, twitter pages and RSS subscriber lists.
In the end, the media is always going to put a negative spin on things no matter what news they are covering, because what it comes down to is advertising revenue and competing with the other news stations. It is sad that this poor writer had to sway the article like she did because to be honest I really thought I was helping her out with the content that I provided her to use, but sadly the article ended up as a total piece of crap with a very one-sided opinion. It reminded me of how liberal the New York Times is, and further how Conservative Fox News is. Any good writer would illustrate both sides of the issue before publishing anything. I guess it just shows how unprofessional she is as a journalist, which makes me wonder her true motivation for writing the article.
Anyway…moving onto bigger and better things. I just couldn’t let this one be “brushed under the rug.” Keep building those solid relationships through these powerful mediums.
September 28th, 2008 at 7:19 am
I love how the survey results are concluded with 130 users. That’s it? Go to a major campus and most sorority and fraternity chapters will have at least 150 members. Those people will all have hundreds to thousands of facebook friends – and they may or may not narcissists.
This reporter was grasping at straws to write an article. And it shows.
September 29th, 2008 at 12:04 pm
I saw the recent study by the University of Georgia about the correlation between narcissism and number of Facebook friends, wall posts, and pictures. As an avid Facebook user myself, I cannot say that reading this news was surprising because I believe that many of the researchers doing these studies are not part of the generation that takes full advantage of social-networking tools, so they therefore do not completely understand its use. I decided to do more research into the matter and came across the ABC article in which you were quoted. Upon first read, I was surprised to hear of someone with so many Facebook friends, as I have not seen this first hand, but reading your post made a few things more clear. You say you met “95% of the speakers [you] brought to speak at the Boston College Entrepreneur Society between [your] junior and senior year.” This seems like a legitimate reason to have so many Facebook friends: you want to reach out to as many people as possible with a common interest–entrepreneurship, I presume– in attempt to find the few that will show interest in coming to speak with your society.
You mention that one should not “talk about narcissism without talking about influence,” alluding to the great impact you have had on others. Do you think that is a little bit narcissistic? Even if that comment appears a bit conceited, your friend made some interesting points in the video: he says that social-networking sites are a way to “sell” yourself, and that we “sell” ourselves on and offline everyday. This is a valid point; with job opportunities so competitive today, we must market ourselves. Because potential employers do look at sites like Facebook pages, it is important that we represent ourselves in the best way possible.
This study may have been improved by also having participants judge themselves on the same narcissism scale by which they judged others, and further compared those ratings to their own Facebook pages. More than narcissism, this study seems to be about the judgment we place on others, when we should also consider our own behaviors and the ways in which we are ourselves perceived.
September 30th, 2008 at 7:46 am
To manage a journalist is really an art. PR agencies sell that skill quite well.
Welcome to the ancient medias’ world.
September 30th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Yeah, I agree fully. That article was Grade-Z journalism at its finest. I personally love the part about how narcissists are more likely to “chose more glamorous photographs” of themselves.
Yes Ki Mae – I’m sure the non-narcissists on Facebook are posting the ugliest pictures they can find of themselves. How dare people post photos that make them look good!
August 19th, 2009 at 1:09 am
I just think that if the study provoked such an angry response, then it’s even more likely true that these people are in fact narcissists. If the study didn’t have an ounce of truth to it, the guy in the video wouldn’t have that kind of reaction. Interesting…