“If you don’t have something nice to say…”
Have you ever said something bad about a person behind their back…and then it ended up coming to bite you in the butt?
I learned this a long time ago and after seeing it happen in networking and relationship building over and over again, I would like to take this time today to share this short and simple message with you in the hope that you will take it to heart.
Because of the six degrees of separation we are all connected together in some way. Based on the amount of “direct” contacts we have, the smaller our networking circle becomes.
When you say something nasty behind the back of a contact you and a direct contact know, your actions are a really sleazy move and could potentially lead to a burned bridge down the road, because to the person you are speaking with it gives them the opportunity to use what you said against you down the road.
When you have the urge to say something negative about someone…don’t! It is not doing anything good for you, and really can only lead to possible negative things down the road for you in your networking journey.
Burning bridges with someone is no fun, and I try to avoid it at all costs. The way I keep my nose clean, and my conscience clear is when I am with friends and contacts I only look to elevate the positives about people in our networks…because you never know what may happen if you start spouting negative things about other people…
Do yourself a favor and always stay positive, no matter who you are speaking to!
August 14th, 2008 at 3:53 pm
Well said Scott.
I would hasten to add that you should also NOT agree with someone else saying negative things about a mutual acquaintance behind their back, EVEN if you agree with it.
I made the mistake of doing both and it hasn’t come back to haunt me, but I feel horrible and will be making amends with a formal apology in person. Once I started seeing how the “haters” made up stories about me, I couldn’t help but feel that this person could very well be suffering the same fate and we all know that when enough people repeat something, it becomes true.
August 14th, 2008 at 5:23 pm
Great addition to the post David! Thanks for filling in what I left out!
April 1st, 2009 at 3:55 am
It sounds like you’re creating problems yourself by trying to solve this issue instead of looking at why their is a problem in the first place Btta5200