Networking Effectively by Scott Bradley

Archive for the ‘Relationship Building’ Category

Have you ever said something bad about a person behind their back…and then it ended up coming to bite you in the butt?

I learned this a long time ago and after seeing it happen in networking and relationship building over and over again, I would like to take this time today to share this short and simple message with you in the hope that you will take it to heart.

Because of the six degrees of separation we are all connected together in some way. Based on the amount of “direct” contacts we have, the smaller our networking circle becomes.

When you say something nasty behind the back of a contact you and a direct contact know, your actions are a really sleazy move and could potentially lead to a burned bridge down the road, because to the person you are speaking with it gives them the opportunity to use what you said against you down the road.

When you have the urge to say something negative about someone…don’t! It is not doing anything good for you, and really can only lead to possible negative things down the road for you in your networking journey.

Burning bridges with someone is no fun, and I try to avoid it at all costs. The way I keep my nose clean, and my conscience clear is when I am with friends and contacts I only look to elevate the positives about people in our networks…because you never know what may happen if you start spouting negative things about other people…

Do yourself a favor and always stay positive, no matter who you are speaking to!

I made this video tonight and felt it would be appropriate to share with you because it has a key point about forming and building relationships in life!

Enjoy!

Yesterday in my last sports marketing class for the semester, our teacher Mr. Lou Imbriano, who is someone with a plethora of sports marketing experience, gave the class some parting words that I wanted to share with you.

At the beginning of this class in January, the first topic he spoke about was what he called “Relationship Architecture.” As someone who has a passion for networking and relationship building I found this to be fantastic! Yesterday, as I asked him for some parting words as we as Boston College Seniors begin our game of life, he said, “Just make sure to always do what you say you are going to do. If you do that you can never go wrong.”

When thinking about the sentence, “Do what you say you are going to do,” and relating it to networking and relationship building, something interesting comes to the surface. As I think about the sentence in itself, it makes me think about the types of promises and commitments we make to people in our network when they either ask us to help them with something, or when we ask them to help us with something.

How many times have you asked someone to do something for you, they committed, and then whatever you asked them to do fell through the cracks and then you were the one to be blamed for the mishap? On the other hand…how many times have you asked someone to do something for you and time after time again they always get it done no matter what! What is the vision of this person that you have in your mind?…I would guess that you see the person as someone you can always count on!

Now one thing that Mr. Imbriano brought up during the semester when he initially shared this concept with us was how it is ok to say “No” at times when you know that there is no way that you will be able to help someone get something done. I remember him saying, “It is better to say No, compared to maybe…because when you do say yes at a later time, it will be received in a more positive way, because people will know that you stick to your commitments when you do say yes. This whole discussion led to him telling us to not always be a “yes person” because if you are a yes person, you will be taken advantage of and not very appreciated.

So when thinking about this phrase, just be sure to not be afraid to say no to certain things that people ask you to do in your trusted network of contacts, and that when you do make the commitment to someone to get something done be sure to “Always do what you say you’re going to do!”

Happy Networking and Relationship Building!

I am in a mind-mapping mode with my new favorite best friend http://www.MindMeister.com. In this post I want to speak about and list for you what I feel are the most essential things you need to have if you want to start and continue to network online effectively.

1. Facebook- Having a Facebook account is essential to networking online. As an extension of your brand and personality it is an amazing way to connect with people and build trusting relationships using this amazing platform. In my post on Networking Effectively using Social Networking Sites I highlight some of the most effective ways to build relationships with individuals on Facebook. Some of my favorite features for networking on facebook are: the groups feature, messaging feature, posted items/share feature, friending feature, and mini-feed feature. If you don’t have a facebook please go set up an account! If you need help setting up your profile feel free to click my facebook profile badge on the right panel of this blog to get some ideas!

2. Youtube- Having a youtube channel is also an essential thing to have in this world of social media and networking because it allows you to utilize the power of video to speak to your new friends that you meet online in the web 2.0 space. They say that “A picture is worth 1000 words,” but how much do you think a video of you is worth?…1,000,000 words? With video, it communicates your brand through a different medium for people to get to know you far beyond your facebook/myspace profile. It adds the “human touch” to your brand, and can truly allow you to build deeper and stronger relationships with your group of friends online! Here is my YouTube channel if you care to see some of the videos I have made!

3. Twitter- Twitter is a microblogging platform that has become one of my new favorite online networking and relationship building tools. If you aren’t familiar with this new platform, basically it allows you to write “mini blog posts” that are 140 characters in length…and by doing so you are able to let the people who are “following” you, get the updates you post about what you are doing right at that moment. Also another fun aspect of the site is that you can follow your friends as well and get their updates at the same time. This fun online tool allows you to get to know more “detailed” stuff about the people in your network that you meet online! I have found it to be really fun and enjoyable to use! Here is my twitter if you would like to follow me. One tool that goes well with it that allows you to upload your blog posts into the feed is called Twitterfeed. Definitely utilize this resource!

4. FriendFeed- Friend feed is a site that is similar to twitter in a way, but instead of giving people updates about “what you are doing at that moment” it aggregates all of your online activity in a semi-real time basis. It is a great way to keep up with people in your network, and what they are blogging about, and also just what they are doing in the online space. This tool gives you a more in depth view about the people in your network and what they like. You are able to link up all of your “social media accounts” together into the site, and then it is set it and forget it technology. If you would like to get my “Friend Feed” updated here is my profile.

5. IM Screen Name- If you are not familiar about what IM means in the online world it means “Instant Message Screen Name.” Having a way to instant message your friends online is essential when it comes to carrying on your conversation away from the web 2.0 sites. It is where you and your new friend can get to know each other through one-on-one conversations. In todays online world it is assumed that everyone has a screen name, so when speaking with people on the web 2.0 sites, don’t hesitate to take the conversation into an IM box. I have been able to build amazing relationships using instant messaging…some of my friends on there I have spoken with for over 1 year before ever calling them to talk on the phone. Here is one of my past blog posts about networking using instant messaging. If you would like my screen name please feel free to visit my facebook profile. I am looking forward to your IM!

6. Branding Site- Aside from your facebook profile the next step to networking online is having your very own “branding site” that tells your story a little more in depth compared to your facebook profile. You can create one of these types of sites pretty easily. If you would like the company I use for my site just let me know and I would be happy to help you out! On my site, I see it as a way for someone to get to know me further beyond the facebook hustle and bustle. It is a very focused page giving the people reading it the lowdown about me and my story…helping me build that relationship with them further. Feel free to view my branding site! I look forward to your comments and feedback!

7. A Blog- One of the other “sites” you should have for yourself when building relationships online with people is your very own blog. This blog can be about a topic you are interested in, or like writing about. I have been blogging for almost a year now, and the people that it attracts, and things that have come from blogging have been so rewarding. When using web 2.0 sites I use my blog as a branding tool for myself so people automatically connect “networking” with my name. I mostly use the link as a sig file when writing messages to people I would like to get to know, and further import my blog posts into facebook itself. A blog is another way to communicate and build relationships with an audience that likes what you speak about on your blog. By using Feedburner to manage your RSS subscriptions it allows you to build a relationship with an infinite amount of people all at the same time. You are already at my blog so I don’t have to give you a link If you can get a blog up using one of the few blogging platforms that I put in the mind map! You won’t be sorry!

8. MyBlogLog- MyBlogLog is the “facebook of the blogging world.” While the site doesn’t have as many features as facebook, it acts as the network that allows you to brand yourself as well as brand your blogs that you run and administrate at the same time. I find it to be a wonderful community and further love using their “tracking tool” which is awesome to keep track of the type of traffic I am getting to this blog, where they are coming from, and what they click! It is really a great tool! If you are going to have a blog as part of your online branding/relationship building strategy definitely get yourself an account! Here is my account if you would like to connect on there!

9. LinkedIn- The last and final tool that you can definitely utilize when networking online is the site LinkedIn. This is more of a “professional facebook site” that allows you to build your trusted network of contacts, and by doing so, it allows you to see other people in your trusted network of contacts that you may want to get an introduction too. I don’t use this site often, but still manage to maintain it on a very limited basis. This is the last thing to add to your online personal branding and networking strategy and will definitely be the cherry on the top to networking effectively online! Here is my profile if you are interested in connecting on their as well!

Please let me know if I missed anything! I am looking forward to your comments and feedback!

So there I was two days ago…I just watched an awesome movie about Gold and Silver and wanted to send it to my group “The Real Estate Investing Network” that I admin on facebook. I felt the content would benefit each and every member of the group, and that it would be applicable to the real estate world helping everyone in the group with their business and personal financial education.

Before I get to the rest of the story I want to share with you why I created the group during the middle of August 2007 in the first place. Being someone who is an entrepreneur, has a passion for real estate and networking, I figured that a good idea would be to gather a group of like minded individuals around the interest of Real Estate Investing. My intention with the group that I created on facebook would be to build a community around the interest where I would be able to help attract high end real estate investors, people who are interested in real estate, and others who would be able to help new and seasoned real estate investors all at the same time. Another facet of the group that I wanted to provide was consistent communication between me and the group members by providing them beneficial content that would improve them in some way whether it would be helping them with their business, or helping them increase their skills. One of the first things I did to foster all of this collaboration was asking the people in the group for resources that they feel would benefit the members of the group. This was an amazing success and as you will see from the resource list we have compiled there is a plethora of resources for any seasoned or new real estate investor to take advantage of. Secondly, while asking for resources from the group members themselves I would also send them good quality content using the group messaging feature, such as the link to this blog helping them increase their networking skills, or links to other beneficial content that I came across on a daily basis, like the gold movie, that I felt would personally help the members base with their self growth and investing activities.

So back to the story…As I opened up my group page I looked under the group picture for “Send Message To Group” button for some reason it wasn’t there. Just to make sure I was not just seeing things I went to other groups that I am an admin of and noticed the messaging feature for those was still in tact.

Because of this inconvenience I messaged facebook support center to ask them what was wrong. I didn’t understand why I was blocked from sending the beneficial content to the group. Sadly, I came to find out from the support center person that if groups gather more than 1200 members, (the group right now as I write this post is at 1325), the admins can’t send messages out to the members anymore because facebook wants to “protect the members so they are not spammed.”

Now after hearing this from facebook it really ticked me off because I am thinking to myself…Here I am, creating a group that provides facebook tons of value, continually sending the members base good and beneficial material about the economy as well as Real Estate…and just because the group has hit over 1200 members they now remove that privilege from me to continually make a difference in peoples lives?

I JUST DON’T GET IT! The whole, “fear of spamming people” excuse from facebook is really stupid in my opinion because if you LOGICALLY think about it…if people in a group are spammed, what are the chances they will stick in the group? It doesn’t take a PhD to figure out that they wouldn’t stay very long…and on the flipside, if the group continually provided them good value on a consistent basis they would stick, and refer other people in their network in the group to further help it become a better place to interact and communicate with people around the same interest!

As you can see I am pretty bent out of shape because of this…because if you look at everything that I have ever sent out to the group itself, it was nothing but beneficial content. I even reserved a conference calling line to later in time do conference calls with the group…letting people know about it using the messaging feature, where I would bring in expert real estate investors to share their knowledge with everyone in the community…further helping everyone grow and prosper at the same time.

Anyway amid my rant…I am asking you as my fellow readers and supporters to help me create a conversation in the blogosphere that will hopefully help facebook change their mind about their absurd policy. They are really doing a disservice to the admins and the members in the admins groups of over 1200 people because they are disabling the privilege to “foster communication between the people that you know and don’t know.”

As it says on the main page, “Facebook is a social utility that connects you with the people around you.” Yet, they don’t give group admins the benefit of the doubt and technological control how and when they can collaborate with the groups they took so long to build…As I stated above I have been building this exclusive network since the middle of August 2007.

Please help me make my voice be heard and either digg, stumble, del.ici.ous, link to, reddit and talk about this post on your blogs!

I appreciate any and all of your help!

Last week was amazing with all of the networking and relationship building that went on with me, and because it was so amazing I wanted to share it with you.

Between Thursday-Saturday of this past week I got the chance to meet, interact and network with some amazing people…a 23 year old entrepreneur who has built a company that currently is doing over 10 million a year in sales AND a person who is a carbon copy of me when it comes to having a passion for real estate investing, Robert Kiyosaki’s material and entrepreneurship. The 23 year old entrepreneur named Ryan Allis, came to speak to the Boston College Entrepreneur Society, and the other gentlemen came down from New Hampshire to watch Ryan’s presentation due to his passion for entrepreneurship.

I met both of these gentlemen using everything I talk about here on Networking Effectively. The technique I used to initially find Ryan Allis was through facebook. After going back and forth through facebook’s messaging feature, and then moving our conversation to the phone, I offered to him the opportunity to come out and share his story about growing his company from Zero to One Million in sales with the Boston College Entrepreneur Society. He was a totally awesome speaker, and his presentation was top notch…I even learned a couple break dance moves from him, due to his “Professional Dancing Skills.”

The second gentlemen who came down to see Allis’s presentation was someone who found me on facebook…because I went into a Rich Dad Cashflow 101 group and posted on the wall, “Anyone who wants to play the board game Cashflow, please contact me! I like networking with others who have a passion for the game and meeting other people who find Robert Kiyosaki’s material so helpful.” After going back and forth with him through facebook’s messaging feature we decided that it would be cool to meet before Ryan Allis’s event.

Little did I know…as we started talking we instantly “clicked” in a matter of 10 minutes and both told each other almost at the same time, “I am so happy I found someone who has the same passions and interests that I do. Finding people like you is so difficult these days especially amid the college atmosphere where the accepted mantra is ‘Go to school, get good grades, find a safe secure job with benefits, and then when you retire, your company and government will take care of you.” (Which as we all know now is the biggest pipe dream imaginable).

As we began to get to know each other over some lunch, before Ryan Allis’s event, we talked about our passions for Real Estate, our upbringing, what we are currently working on, what other business’s we have been exposed to over the years, and further talked about what drives us, our passions and ambitions and how we want to change the world and have an impact on other peoples lives.

As we were talking and getting to know each other at such a rapid pace…I had to pinch myself, and think, “Scott you met this person on facebook…just think of all of the other awesome people just like him on that website that you haven’t gotten the chance to meet yet!”

After lunch was over we came back expecting to play Kiyosaki’s game Cashflow 101 but instead we just continued our conversation about our passions and interests. Soon thereafter Ryan Allis arrived and had to prepare some things before his speech he would deliver that night.

After doing so, and after giving an amazing presentation Ryan, my friend I just met, and a couple Boston College Entrepreneur Society members went out to dinner with Ryan to continue our conversation about life and entrepreneurship. As we were sitting around the table talking about world issues, I still had to sit back and think, “Scott if it weren’t for facebook, and your willingness to provide value to others, this event probably wouldn’t have happened.” Everyone at the table was talking about current and future economic trends, asked Ryan some more questions about his business, and further went on to discuss about some ideas each of us had. Like I said…this was so awesome, and because it was so enjoyable to be around these “thought leaders” the time flew so damn fast!

They always say that “Time flies when your having fun,” and truly this entire day, from 3:30pm when I met my friend from New Hampshire, all the way to going to bed that night at 1:00 AM I was thinking to myself how fast and enjoyable that experience was.

Now because my friend from New Hampshire and I were not able to play Cashflow on Thursday before Ryan’s speech, he ended up coming down yesterday (Saturday) with his brother to play. We played the game, continued our conversation further, and then went out to dinner with one of my other friends, named Dan Schawbel who is the owner and pioneer for the Personal Branding Magazine. I currently manage the sponsorships for the magazine and help market our Free Sample that we give away to educate others about the value that the magazine will provide them if they decide to subscribe.

My new friend from New Hampshire, his brother, and my friend Dan went to an UNO’s pizza in Boston…Kenmore Square to be exact! As we sat down, we started talking about Dan’s passion of personal branding. As I was sitting there at the table seeing my new friend from NH listen and digest everything we were all talking about regarding helping people build their personal brands through the online and offline media channel, I was sitting there thinking…”Damn Scott, isn’t it awesome bringing other people in your network together to further create synergistic bonds between each and every one of them over something as simple as a lunch or dinner?” I can tell you openly and honestly I was beside myself with all of the positive energy that was being transferred at that table.

Now with all of this awesome dialog going on something else happened that was even better. On Thursday after meeting my friend from New Hampshire he sent me a message on Friday talking to me about a Real Estate deal he is working on and explained to me that for him to do the deal he is going to have to find someone willing to help him put the down payment on the property. After he told me this, I went to one of my contacts in my network that is a business owner and high end investor, who I met through using the things I teach on my post about Networking Effectively Using Instant Messaging, and simply sent him an IM when he was “away” that said, “I have a deal that you may take an interest in, here is my number ###-###-####, call me for the contact and the details.” The reason I felt comfortable doing this is because I have been networking and building a relationship with him for over 1.5 years…so it was totally normal to think about him in this fashion.

Well…during the dinner my business owner and investor friend called me up as we were talking about personal branding with Dan and my new friend. I looked at the number and saw the caller ID saying it was him. I was floored that he gave me a call about the deal and I looked at my friend, showed him the caller ID and said, “Here is the guy calling that may possibly be the first investor in the property that you want to close on soon.” After showing him that I just had to smile …and think to myself…”Damn Scott…this is too much fun.”

Anyway after we finished dinner and headed home, I ended up calling my business owner and investor friend up to return his call, and we had an awesome conversation where I gave him the contact info of my friend from NH who is looking for funding on the deal, and further talked briefly about the economy and where he is looking to invest his money next! It was just so awesome, and again…I had to pinch myself to make sure all of what was going on was in fact real

I know this is a really long post but I wanted to write it to prove a point, and hopefully inspire you to take action on putting yourself out there on the social networking sites, through instant messaging, and through networking events to find trusting contacts like I have gathered over my 2+ years of Networking Effectively. I have learned everything about networking through learning from personal mentors and from my direct experience in the field. One thing I have come to realize after these years of doing this is, you just never know where you will meet your next “Million Dollar Contact,” and further will never know what medium you will have to use to to acquire more contacts like them…all you can control is continually putting yourself out there in the “randomness of the world” and due to the law of attraction, and law of reciprocity only good contacts, people and resources will continually flow to you effortlessly…When you think about it…What do you have to lose?

Have you ever thought to yourself, “Man, I wish I had a better way to keep up with all of my relationships!” or even further thought “I wish there was an easier way to grow relationships that I have with my personal network of contacts amid my busy schedule!” If any these thoughts have ever crossed your mind I can assure you that you are definitely not alone.

With the introduction of web 2.0, growing your contact base has become so easy that it has really democratized contact building and networking on a broad scale. The challenge with adding more and more contacts to your network on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis using web 2.0 and other networking methods is that it is now more difficult than ever before to keep up with all of the new relationships you are forming everyday because you are always looking to continue building your network because you realize that the bigger your network the greater your net-worth!

As I have been building my personal network on facebook and face to face over the years, which has been really fun and enjoyable, I have recently started to lose touch with old relationships that I started one and two years ago. Because of the new relationships I am forming on a daily basis, trying to keep up with old ones has become difficult.

Now you may be sitting there thinking…“Scott I know exactly what you are saying, I am having the same problem myself…What solution have you found that has helped you solve this problem?”

Well to solve this problem, I recently learned about a unique way to effectively stay in touch with your contacts, while still maintaining the genuine and personal nature of networking effectively.

Before I get to the solution let me tell you what this solution is not…
-It is NOT creating an e-mail distribution list and sending an “Update on Me” e-mail
-It is NOT creating an autoresponder and sending out a mass message thinking you can just put the person’s first name in the e-mail making them think you are contacting them on a personal basis every month
-It is NOT creating one type of customized greeting card and sending it out to each of your contacts month after month

The best most genuine way to effectively stay in touch with your contacts on a weekly basis is to do these 4 simple things

1) Gather all of your contacts (the ones you know you want to stay in touch with and put them into an excel spreadsheet)…Go through your social networking accounts, address books, business cards and the like to figure out who you REALLY want to stay in touch with
2) Write down all of your contacts on the left side of the excel spreadsheet from 1-100 (You may have more contacts than that…this is just for an example).
3) In the next column at the top put “Exposure 1 Date/Action”
4) In the next column at the top put “Exposure 2 Date/Action”…etc

Now here is how it works, and how I will be using this as time moves forward.

The way I am planning to use this is simple…Each and every Sunday I am going to dedicate 1 hour to contact a certain amount of people on that list starting at the last contact I last contacted…In this case I will start at contact #1 this coming Sunday. As I think about that contact and the relationship I have with them I will decide what would be the most effective method of building the relationship further at the given time. I could send them a personalized e-mail, a card updating them on what I am doing and further sharing with them how much I appreciate them, I can give them a call up just to check in to see how they are, or I can send them flowers or a gift.

After doing whatever action I decided to do, I then put in the first column next to their name “Sent Appreciation Card/(3/16).”

The reason this system is so effective is because

1) You can always ADD new contacts to your list as you continue to meet people you know you want to stay in contact with
2) You can effectively manage HOW you want to contact each person on your list and see how you have continually built the relationship with them over time
3) You can decided how many people you want to build the relationship further every week due to them being in one place on your computer
4) You can see who you have “touched” recently and who you haven’t further helping you plan out your “Relationship Building Efforts” over time
5) You have all of your “Trusted contacts at your fingertips” and will never have to “flip through a rolodex” or a your facebook friends “to manage your relationships again”
6) You can easily take 1 hour every Sunday to keep in touch with your network…and if you can’t then move some things around to make it work!
7) You are treating each contact individually, rather than on a mass scale, which makes the exposure 1000 times more effective and far more genuine.

While the setup of this will be time consuming, it will help you keep up with all of your contacts in an effective manner, and further help you build more trusting and deeper relationships with your trusted circle of contacts now and in the future…one contact at a time. It is about the quality AND quantity of your circle of trusted relationships that this networking “system” helps you manage.

For those of you sitting there reading this thinking…”Do I really have to do this?” My response to you is simple…”How else will you effectively manage your contacts in a way that is not only personal but further in a way that has the greatest impact on your trusted circle of contacts over an extended period of time?” If you have a better way I am ALL EYES AND EARS!

Here is a quote for you to think about when building this contact system for yourself that I have learned from one of my metors, “Short Term Pain, Long Term Gain.” It is always easy to take the short quick road of keeping up with your contacts, but over a consistent period of time, it will become less effective because the exposures over time will become less genuine and your trusted contact will know this…

So when it comes down to it, just take the time to build this system for yourself. You will not regret it…just think…”How would you feel if you were contacted by trusted contacts on a monthly basis where the exposure was truly genuine, and where your trusted contact had to go out of their way to contact you…” I don’t know about you but it would make me feel PRETTY DAMN GOOD!

Happy Networking and Relationship Building!

P.S. I would like to apologize for taking such a long time in between posts…it is unacceptable and I again apologize for getting lazy. Feel free to whack me upside the head next time it happens again!…LOL…JK

To simplify the last post that I made I thought I should put the points I wanted to make in a simple, concise list…as well as add a couple things to the list

To acquire the most influence over your network for a long period of time it would be best to…

1) Build a trusting relationship with each and every one of your contacts…meaning having more than one interaction with them.

2) Stay followed up with your contacts using e-mail, web 2.0 sites, letters, cards, phone calls

3)  Continue to build the relationship between you and your contacts by recommending products, services and people to them that would help them or benefit them in some way…this strengthens the relationship even further as you continue to send them positive people and things into their lives

4) Take some time to introduce your personal contacts to each other, through a lunch or party…strengthening the interactions between everyone in your network can only lead to better things…it starts to create an “inner circle” rather than a “top down” approach to networking

While doing all of this keep in mind… 

-Everyone is always watching what you do, and what you say…be sure to keep in line with your morals and values…people only want to associate with people and things they can be proud of

-Only recommend things and people to others that you confidently can put your name on

-Realize that you are your own brand and that people will be judging you by what you say and do…this will affect how new contacts will react to you so be sure to always stay true to yourself

My Friend Jason Jacobson of Networking Insight, just wrote a wonderful piece about 15 things you can do to build better relationships with people in the winter time.

I really enjoyed the post and wanted to share it with you.

My favorite one on the list was taking a contact out to a lunch or dinner. I love this one because I am a sucker for good food.

Let me know what you think of the article.